Doing it Backwards – Thinking About You and not Them
The mistake many of us make when we are using online dating services and filling out a profile for a dating site is trying to figure out what other people want to hear, trying to figure out what our best qualities are and accentuating them.
In reality, one of the best online dating tips is: when you fill out your personal profile on a dating website, you should do so thinking in reverse.
As you fill out your online dating profile, you should be asking yourself, ”what kind of person do I want to attract?” By doing so, you bring out the best in yourself and you avoid attracting those people whom you have no interest in dating.
Opposites May Attract, but They’re not Always Attractive
Physically maybe, opposites attract, but it’s not a rule. In fact, it’s not even typical. So, while you may want to attract someone that is physically different than you are, more than likely, you are in search of someone that has the same values you have.
Think About Who You are When You Write about Who You Want
While the profile section may ask you who you are–to describe yourself–concentrate on thinking about who you want. More than likely, you want someone with traits similar to those that you have. For example, rather than writing in the About Me section, ”I am honest and sincere and open and tell the truth,” simply state what it is you want. For example, ”I am in search of a person that isn’t afraid to share his failures, that won’t hold mine against me and that is open to the idea of forgiving and forgetting.”
Without Ambiguity — On the Other Hand, Maybe You Are Attracted to an Opposite(s)
By explaining what it is that you want, you don’t need to go through the process of explaining that the person you are is the person, more or less, that you are looking for. Saying that you are a conservative, homebody and not understanding why it is that the wild, free spirits won’t contact you seems obvious. However, it isn’t always the case that you want to date you. Maybe, you want someone entirely different. Make your profile about the person you want, not the person you are.
Ying and Yang or Mirror Images
Simply, if you spend your text space explaining who you are, you waste all the space you have to explain who it is you are looking for. Give people an opportunity to decide if they are they person that you want. By telling people what you want, you more adequately explain who you are than you ever could by trying to explain to them who you are.